You, me, and everyone else

I just read a book titled How to Loose Friends and Alienate People, and it got me to thinking. Are the people you hold so dear really that important? Are the folks you look at as mentors and giants of their trade really so special? Or rather have you just not gotten your piece of the pie yet? Who says you are not capable of being the best? Even better who says you are not the future kingpin of whatever you want to do? The bottom line is to give a large "fuck you" to whomever gets in your way. Doubt, jealousy, and other worthless traits are all things people who are less than you do to rationalize their defeat. Rather than let people bog you down, tell you how to live, or try to get you down on yourself, just look at what you have accomplished and revel in it. On the flip side if you really do suck, sorry amigo keep trying. As many a rapper would say, "Just squash dem foo's" and do whatever you want. The Mayan calendar (among others) says that 2012 is the end of the world, that raises two questions. One, what if it is the end of the world, do you really want to waste these last years as a semi accomplished whatever the fuck? Or do you want to get out there and slap life in the face? The second question, and my personal favorite this month, is would you rather live a long life filled with plenty of nice memories, or see the end of the world? Think Black Sabbath raining down from the sky as hot lava and demons fly around with guitars and brain destroying vocals. You know it would be exciting. Then again, it could be a massive earth quake or freak comet just destroys Earth and it all happens within a split second leaving a path of death in its wake. That would be boring, let us hope the first situation is what fate has in store for us. Either way in 5.6 billion years the sun will engulf the Earth destroying what is left of a baron little rock once called Earth. Have a nice day.

Way to go me

Internships pay off because you get stuff out of them. Today I got published for the second time in history, neat. The first time was kind of cool, but it was mostly a buddy asking me to write him some ill tempered shit to spice up an interview, this time though, I wrote a movie review. Fuck you if you aren't impressed it is my day of glory and you will not steal my shine. Anyway if you are interested in seeing my first "proffesional" piece check it out at http://alliancewakeskate.com/droppings.php?id=340&page=1 otherwise laugh at my expense. I can only ask that if you do visit the site, give my article a look and leave a comment as well. I promise more exciting things in the future, at least I gave you one more site to look at on your long quest to not go to sleep, go outside, or do anything productive right? Procrastinators unite!

Up, Down, and the over there

Internships are a funny thing, one minute you think you are king of all that you can see (much like lion king) and the next, you are working hard for zero dollars and no credit, but it gets worse. So now your day is gone, because you spent in working for someone else for free right? Right! So it is time to get a night job. This can be tricky as our beloved economy is in the shitter. So what to do? Think about awkward jobs, strip club janitor, midnight mall security, or my favorite evening laborer. My conclusion thus far this "summer" is to work in yards in the evening cleaning, trimming, and doing all those things old people love so much for under the counter wages. To be honest though, I really hope Subway calls back about that night shift. It may suck, it may be smelly, but hey, its steady, and its easy.

Age will ruin you

School let out yesterday at roughly 1:50 for me. I finished my last final, I said goodbye to campus, and I wondered around smelling of shit and happiness. The only thing I could really focus on was the scene from "Dazed and Confused" when the kids rush out of class to get home before the Juniors turned Seniors beat them senseless. That scene is enhanced by Alice Cooper's "Schools Out for Summer" and that song was just perfect for the moment. Being lost in the framework of an academic I began analyzing Cooper, and what thirty years has done to the legendary madman. Ozzy did the babbling idiot thing, Keith Richards is still as badass today as he was back then, and almost everyone else worth mentioning is dead, but what about old Alice? Well he turned to golf. Sadly our snake wielding, makeup wearing, satanic force from hell has become an old man, and has lost his way no matter what he has to say about it.

Movin' Out

There comes a time in every mans life when he needs to move out of an apartment. In my case the time is now. I've spent one long painfully filthy year in this studio apartment, and I feel it is time to move on. What I didn't expect was the "cleaning list" provided by my rental agency. When I moved into this dump it was filthy, the shag carpet made me cringe, the pubic hair left in the shower gave me the goosebumps, and the overall feel that AIDS was dripping from the walls simply left me feeling blue. Since then I've had three kitchen mates, one of which was a whore who robbed me, the other a very nice indian man who left the kitchen a mess, and the third (the new guy) some random smelly kid (sorry if you read this random smelly kid). The lights have all burned out, there have been constant problems with both the plumbing and the domestic disturbances from all of the oh so friendly neighbors, and frankly I feel as though cleaning this dump is a waste of my time. They (the rental agency) expect me to clean this place as if Tom Cruise was coming to stay. Wash this, soak that, clean this, swipe that. Well I don't know how to clean a toilet bowl when its black and orange, and I haven't seen the floor of my room in over four months, so eat it. I'll take my shit with me, I'll even clean up the garbage, and yes, I'll give the place an overall swipe down with my magical disinfectant rags, but no, I will not put energy into cleaning this dump. The lesson of this story is don't do what you don't have to. That may sound stupid, and come off as unhelpful and rude, but if you are living in the shittiest of places make them suffer a little bit as well. After all, they didn't get you a new door when your old one was broken in during the robbery, and that table I've been waiting on for nine months is still absent. So listen up America, stick it to the man and leave a dump in the toilet, your deposit will cover it and feeling good is always better than a measly 200 dollars. Oh, and a personal complaint, the asians that live above me and fight all night, break shit, and end up sobbing until the wee hours of the morning really need to break up. At some point, love doesn't conquer all and you're just wasting your life away. Stick to the man, leave a terd in the tank.